A Strategy That Will Resolve the Conflict Itself or Dissipate
From small indignities such as not giving credit where credit is due to much larger dignity violations such as sexual harassment or experiencing bullying behavior from a peer or supervisor. Most of us have experienced a workplace conflict in which an apology would have gone a long way toward making amends and helping a relationship and/or project get back on track. An effective apology seeks to ease a person’s emotional burden and put right the relationship, which is precisely what is necessary to maintain a healthy working environment. A well-delivered apology should seek to achieve through things like should be focus on the needs of the injured or harmed person. It should seek to repair harm and create an opportunity for forgiveness. This seems like a no-brainer and yet too often an apology can add insult to injury when what is intended as an apology shifts into an excuse. It usually sounds like I am really sorry but, I am really sorry you feel like that way or I am really sorry if are some of the conflict management skills can give for an apology.
If a person believes he or she is apologizing to someone and the apology opens with one of the lines or something similar of conflict management skills is quite likely what the person is actually doing is offering an excuse for his or her behavior. That person may walk away feeling better but the injured party most likely will leave the conversation feeling worse because an apology is more than words. To be truly effective of conflict management skills an apology must seek to repair whatever harm resulted from the person’s behavior. And, most importantly, only the person who has been harmed understands what is necessary to repair the harm. This means that when we make an apology, rather than explaining what we will do to repair the harm, we must ask the injured party. What can we do to make this right? When we make assumptions about what is necessary to repair the harm, we run the risk of creating even more harm and deepening the person’s injury. In other words, we can make the situation worse.
Ideally, if we want to be able to
restore relationships in the workplace, regain trust, and move forward in a
productive manner in which all parties are free from judgment and condemnation
a good conflict management skills are needed. We want a clean slate which
depends on the egregiousness of a person’s behavior and can be a big ask which
is why an apology is needed. When delivered effectively can only create the
opportunity for forgiveness and does not create an expectation or a guarantee
of it. Asking for clean conflict management skills is asking the other person
to make a significant leap of faith that a person’s apology. Sincere and truly
indicative of a change of heart and a change in behavior while seeking
forgiveness. It is appropriate and a sign of hope for a better future that
cannot be expected or demanded should delivering effective apologies in the
workplace. Offering an apology is not something that should be taken lightly,
nor is it something that a person should go into without fully preparing for
it. There are very specific components of an effective apology and each
component should be taken seriously and delivered honestly if the relationship
is to be restored.
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